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Or you may try to recapture the closeness you once shared by making comments and observations about your adult child's physical being or lifestyle or choices the way you used to when they were younger, only now these observations or unsolicited opinions sound like criticisms to him or her -- when that isn't what you meant at all.You just wanted to participate in, to be part of, his or her life.My husband and I suffer a semi-estrangement from one of our daughters...Our daughter seems content to have little contact with us... Both of my children live far away and are busy with their own lives. And the comments continue to come in: I cry as I read the posts....

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l limit my calls to once a week and sometimes she doesn't return my call.You and your parents were close and you considered them a joy and inspiration in your life.And it's painful when your children don't seem to feel the same way about you or to share the values that kept you close to your own parents.It wasn't until the daughter was nearing 30 that she rediscovered the joy of close ties with her mother.I've seen other friends and patients blind-sided and baffled by sudden hostility from adult children who, as they mark their new independence, start complaining about their parents' deficiencies in parenting.

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